Did You Ever Love Me? by Rithvik Singh is a tender contemporary poetry collection about love, heartbreak, longing, self worth and learning to let go. Its greatest strength is emotional accessibility: Singh writes directly to readers who feel intensely and care deeply. The collection offers comfort without pretending heartbreak is simple, though its simplicity may occasionally feel familiar to seasoned poetry readers. Did you Ever Love Me? Have you ever loved someone so completely that, after they left, you were left wondering whether they had ever understood what they had been given? Not merely whether they loved you, but whether they ever noticed how much you loved them, how much patience you offered, how many small things you remembered, or how often you chose to stay when leaving might have been easier. There is a particular loneliness in that question because it rarely arrives at a dramatic moment. More often, it finds you while you are doing something completely ordinary. Yo...
In the year 1983, when the Indian lawmakers amended the
Indian Penal Code to add section 498a (to deal with matrimonial cruelty) little would they have imagined that it would
one of its most misused sections. Over the years, married men and their
families were amply harassed by their wives using this section as a weapon.
Thousands of false dowry cases are still pending and being filed each other to
make men more compliant. In fact, in
2017, even the Supreme Court of India had
to take the cognizance of the rise in several
false cases under section 498a.
The #Metoo fad reminds of this trend. In today’s time, Indian
workplaces are in fact becoming dangerous and unsafe for men than women. Many
careers are being destroyed simply because of false cases and accusations going
around.
It is more so in office cultures in India because of our own
complex social system. Since
Independence, women have gained more recognition and space in white collar jobs
in India. Still, our society is
patriarchal in nature and there are many who believe that women have not been
given their due.
That our population is still incapable of gender balance and
equality can be recognized from the fact how so many women support sexual
assaults and even help cover up gender-related
crimes. Its all in the data and so many stories you hear on regular basis.
Our workplaces are in fact reflection of our society. Men
will flash their egos and expect women to play a demure role. Why? Because they
have grown up in a society where sisters are too compliant and mothers always
firm in the background. Many women struggle in their workplaces trying to
create a niche with their acquired knowledge. They struggle because they have
been brought up in a society which makes them too passive.
While it’s an achievement, it is also creating an unhealthy
working environment. I will give you an example of a girl, let's call her Z. She is quite friendly with
her male boss whom we will call X. Now, when X invited her for a drink outside
office hours, she agreed. It boosted her image in the office. The perception
built up that she is close to the boss. Now when the boss gets little extra
friendly with her, let's say starts calling her every night, she gets
confused. She hesitates in saying no. It
is cases such as these which later blow to sexual harassment and land on your
social media with a #metoo title.
Then there is the spite. Like the false dowry cases, there
is a spike in false reporting of sexual misconduct in offices, just for the
heck of it. It gets the complainant sympathy, vengeance, control, or whatever
emotion she is looking for. The male colleague suffers isolation,
demoralization, and setback in a career.
And then there is pure ambition. We know of so many women at
workplaces who to further their ambitions
are ready to walk that extra mile. And in case things
don’t go as planned, there is
always an allegation to rely upon.
I am not saying that sexual misconduct in workplaces is an
issue to ignore. It’s a huge thing. But there are women in offices who are
supporting this. Some by their silence and some by participation. For if X the
boss is expecting something out of Z his subordinate, there have been many
before her who used X as a step of the ladder of their professional
achievements. Look at the film industry, where the whole #metoo thing is
getting the most attention. While some might point fingers at a director or
producer for their casting couch, there are many who jumped over the chance to
further their agenda.
What makes it so toxic is how we all treat such crimes. The
#metoo campaign also relies on the same logic. We rely on insinuations rather
than a fair probe. Whenever there is a matter of sexual harassment or assault,
we are too eager to judge. Hence, you see a social media post with snippets of
conversation and everyone taking sides. No one is happy to read the full story.
Let us just name and shame. We forget very conveniently that when we do that,
by passing judgment on basis of hearsay,
we are belittling every claim of sexual misconduct. False or True, the
allegation just remains that; an allegation. An incomplete statement, ruining
lives of people and just serving fodder to rumor mills.
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