Skip to main content

Dengue Musings

One day, my friend, a doctor informed me about a dengue prevention camp that he was going to conduct. A part of me, wanted to visit, but I couldn't attend because of some reason. Mostly, I wanted to go to support my friend. Why would I need a dengue prevention medicines, I haughtily wondered at that time.

But, in reality I was at a high dengue risk, unknown to anyone. My office was flooded with mosquitoes and a portion of it was flooded by water. Perhaps at the office or some other place, the mosquito attacked me. As a consequence, my platelets spiraled down, as my temperature shot up.

It was a sick time. Down on bed all the time, with nothing to do. Add to it, my heart's misery. Having lost a friend to dengue, exactly a year ago, the time that passed was tough on me. Could I be joining him? Or I am the one, destined to suffer on Earth here? Questions often tormented my mind. I think of it now, and I realize that yes, I was ready to meet the creator. (Or whomsoever you meet, when breath exits your body)

I hate being pinned down. In the hospital, I was all boxed up. I craved for freedom and freedom alone. The fuss created by parents and relatives didn't help at all. The more you visit a hospital, the more you realize, the hell India is, where medical system is worse than Manmohan Singh's governance. But no, it was not a very extraordinary time for me. Just routine, mechanical. Your body got unwell, you get it fixed and proceed to lead the same routine life. As simple as getting that punctured scooter tire fixed.

As destiny would have it, I survived and survived well. All thanks to the gem of friends that I ha ve and my family of course. But the question remains in my head; did I need this survival?

Comments

Post a Comment

Also read

Spill the Tea: Ira and the quiet exhaustion of being watched

Ira comes for tea and slowly reveals a life shaped by emotional surveillance. Loved, watched, and quietly evaluated by her parents, she lives under constant explanation. Through food and confession, she names the exhaustion of being known too well and finds nourishment not just in eating, but in finally being heard. Ira arrived  five minutes early and apologized for it. The way people do when they are used to taking responsibility for time itself. She said it lightly, as if time itself had offended her. She wore a white A-line shirtdress, clean and careful, the kind that looks chosen for comfort but ends up signaling restraint. When she sat down, she folded herself into the chair unconsciously. One leg rested on the floor, the other tucked underneath her, knees visible. It was not a pose meant to be seen. It slipped out before her body remembered how to protect itself. I noticed the brief softness of it, the quiet vulnerability, before she settled and forgot. I was still pouring t...
Post a Comment
Read more

Cutting people off isn’t strength—It is a trauma response

Your ability to cut people off and self-isolate is not a skill you should be proud of—It is a trauma response Cutting people off and self-isolating may feel like a protective shield, but it is often rooted in unresolved or unhealed trauma and an inability to depend on others. While these behaviors seem like self-preservation, they end up reinforcing isolation and blocking meaningful connections. Confronting these patterns, seeking therapy, and nurturing supportive relationships can help break this unhealthy cycle. Plus, a simple act like planting a jasmine plant can symbolise the start of your journey towards emotional healing. Why do we cut people off and isolate? If you’re someone who prides themselves on “cutting people off” or keeping a tight circle, you might believe it’s a skill—a way to protect yourself from betrayal, hurt, or unnecessary drama. I get it. I’ve been there, too. But here’s the thing: this ability to isolate yourself is not as empowering as it may seem. In fact, i...
1 comment
Read more

Worst Idea Ever-Jane Fallon-Book review

Is your closest friendship built on trust or convenience? Have you ever questioned whether your closest friendship survives on love or habit? This detailed, non partisan review of Worst Idea Ever by Jane Fallon explores jealousy, insecurity, digital deception, and emotional convenience, while honestly critiquing its length, clichés, and uneven characterisation. A sharp look at friendship when kindness turns quietly toxic. Have you ever stayed in a friendship simply because walking away felt harder? You know that uncomfortable feeling when you realise a friendship no longer nourishes you, yet you keep showing up anyway. Not because it brings joy, but because history exists, routines are set, and absence would require uncomfortable explanations. Jane Fallon’s Worst Idea Ever taps directly into that quiet, relatable discomfort. It asks a question many of us avoid asking ourselves. Are we friends because we care, or because we always have been? Published in 2021 by Penguin B...
Post a Comment
Read more