Tushar Mangl

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. ..... Stupid Question :- Hey, what are you doing here? Answer :- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here.. 2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet... Stupid Question :- Sorry, did that hurt? Answer :- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again. 3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask... Stupid Question :- Why, why him, of all people. Answer :- Why? Would it rather have been you? 4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter Stupid Question :- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good?? Answer :- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it. 5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years Stupid Question :- Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big. Answer :- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself. 6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... Stupid Question...

Nice Definitions School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays. Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. Divorce: Future tense of Marriage. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. Dictionary : A place where success comes before work. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. Father: A banker provided by nature. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late ...

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS AND INTELLIGENT ANSWERS! Question and the Answer given by Candidates, oh sorry they are IAS (Indian Administrative Services - THE most difficult examination in India . Candidates are graduate Officers now. Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper) Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 rd Rank Opted for IFS) Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have? A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS) Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES) Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep? A. No Probs, He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98) Q. If you throw a red stone into the...

The problems with GUYS: If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him; If u Don't, he says u are PROUD. If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him; If u Don't, he says u are from LAZY. If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN; If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS. If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE; If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT. If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u; If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?) If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROBLESOME; If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him. If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him; If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u. If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED; If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so. If u SMOKE, u are a BAD girl; If he SMOKES, he is a GENTLEMAN. If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK; If he does WELL, it's BRAINS. If u HURT him, u are CRUEL; If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!! & sooo hard...

Definition of kiss ------------ --------- ---- Prof .of Economics Kiss is that thing for which the demand is always higher than the supply. Prof. of Accountancy Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned. Prof. of Algebra Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing. Prof. of Geometry Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips. Prof. of Physics Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart. Prof. of Chemistry Kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts. Prof. of Zoology Kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria. Prof. of Physiology Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularisoris muscles in the state of contraction. Prof. of Dentistry Kiss is infectious and antiseptic. Prof. of Philosophy Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old. Prof. of English Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction, it is more co...

Marketing Rules A Professor at one of the IIM's (INDIA) was explaining marketing concepts to the Students: 1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - * That's Direct Marketing.* 2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich.Marry him." - * That's Advertising.* 3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - * That's Telemarketing.* 4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - * That's Public Relations.* 5. You're at a party and...

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma. ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****** No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****** Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****** You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******** Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older. ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****** The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum. ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****** The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE ******...